Fiercely Me

Music is like pizza.  If it's really good and it's different than the stuff you had yesterday you have no problem consuming it today.  And by you I mean me. 1 star pizza.  Not really worth your time or effort.  Only good for free. 2 stars pizza.  Sure you can feed the family but is a chain-za good enough? 3 stars pizza.  Now it's turning into a party.  Might even be worth an extra tip. 4 stars pizza.  This is the stuff that restaurants are made of! 5 stars pizza.  You will want to lock yourself in the house alone.  Way too good to share! Kevin Hearn "Cloud Maintenance" 1.5 star pizza.  Warm, gooey, but kinda bland. Kevin Hearn is better know as the keyboard/multi-instrumentalist member of the Barenaked Ladies.  Like the band he calls home this solo album shows some weak spots.  He is a good keyboard player.  I will give him that.  However the lyrics, vocals, and overall songwriting are all a little too...

Christmas is around the corner...ready to mug you for your cash and credit cards. I listen to some streaming "records".  I give my opinion.  You reap rewards a-plenty. Goofy rating scale: 1 Christmas present. Probably not worth the time it takes to open it. 2 Chrismas presents. Okay but c'mon Mom...where's the rest??? 3 Christmas presents. Cool.  It's gonna be an okay Christmas after all. 4 Christmas presents.  Wow.  You shouldn't have!  No.  You should have. 5 Christmas presents.  Santa Claus came to town and left his bag in your house! The Lower 48 "Where All Maps End" 2 Christmas presents.  Weak sauce. This band tends to get compared to the Arcade Fire but isn't that really like comparing stepped on peanuts to crunchy Jiff?  It's nothing like the real thing.  This is mediocre, strummy, wandering acousticana songs that don't get close to jumping off the record.  Boring is a more accurate description.  Not...

I listen to a new record streaming over the Internets.  I write my initial reaction.  I give it a meaningless rating from a silly rating scale.  I write I a lot of times. 1 Superbowl victory - "Eh." 2 Superbowl victories - "Good but not great." 3 Superbowl victories - "Now you have something worth talking about." 4 Superbowl victories - "You are the MAN!  I spell M!" 5 Superbowl victories - "You are not even human!  You are a god!" Clap Your Hands Say Yeah "Hysterical" 2 Superbowl victories.  Sprawling but same-y. The blog darlings return with their first album in four years.  They are called indie rock.  Noisy pop.  It's all a little too 80's for my taste.  The record is way too long.  Sprawling but still it manages to have a same-yness throughout that makes it simply boring.  Highlights: None to speak of after one listen. Ryan Adams "Ashes and Fire" 1 Superbowl victory. No Doze please! This ...

I love music.  I like to write.  I write about music.  I also dance about architecture. 1 Acroterion promenade - Not too exciting. 2 Acroterion promenades - Ok but you've done this before. 3 Acroterion promenades - Good.  Might be worth another look. 4 Acroterion promenades - Exciting!  Fresh!  But not the best. 5 Acroterion promenades - This is the one you were waiting all your life for! Dan Andriano in the Emergency Room "Hurricane Season" 1.5 Acroterion promenades.  Ehhh. Dan Andriano is the bass player in Alkaline Trio.  His debut solo record is full of acoustic rockers.  Problem is he is not a great guitar player or songwriter.  Everything on this release just says, "Meh."  Sorry but I wish I had better news.  The patient just didn't make it.  Highlights:  The cover is kinda cool. Scattered Trees "Sympathy" 1.4 Acroterion promenades.  Watered down. Do you like indie bands?  Do you lik...

I barely listen to a full streaming record and then I give you my simple opinion.  It's not rocket science.  Well it is a little bit but I don't like to brag. 1 Red Rocket - Nothing to get excited about. 2 Red Rockets - Okay but don't spend your money. 3 Red Rockets - Good.  Might be worth a few bucks. 4 Red Rockets - Very cool.  Worth a trip to iTunes. 5 Red Rockets - A masterpiece!  Download it and then go to the neighborhood record store and buy the vinyl! Fountains of Wayne "Sky Full of Holes" 2 Red Rockets.  Yawn. There was a time when I liked Fountains of Wayne.  Their first album "Fountains of Wayne" came out and I heard "Radiation Vibe" and immediately thought this band was cool.  There were a few other songs on that album that I dug but that was the only thing I ever bought from this band.  I eventually got sick of Chris Collingwood's voice, the oh-so-clever lyrics that just seemed to rhyme too much, and the wimpy guitar...

Um yeah.  I listen to the record from beginning to end one time.  Next I write down my initial impressions of the record.  Lastly I post my reviews on the mysterious Internets and wait for you to tell me how clueless I am.  Let's commence. 1 solo homerun (barely worth the effort anymore) 2 run homerun (good.  can make a difference but probably won't.) 3 run homerun (now we are talking.  You might win with this one.) 4 Grandslam (You are the man!  Or woman.  But probably man.) 5 Grandslam walk-off homerun (You won the game!  Yes you!  Multi-million dollar contract is on it's way!) Givers "In Light" 2 run homerun.  Poppy and fun but not great. Straight from the bio: Lafayette, Louisiana based indie-poppers' debut record combines a perfect mix of shimmering pop and summer-strong songs.  Okay so it's shimmery and poppy.  Maybe even a little summery.  But as I ask with a lot of the records I review, "Where's the h...

Record reviews! I stream each record online! I listen to each record one time through while I’m working my exciting office job! I write my observations in review form!! I publish online in my blog!!! I use lots of exclamation points!!!! 1 ! – Not enough. 2 !! – Okay, but probably not worth your money. 3 !!! – Better than two but why stop there? 4 !!!! – Party time! All doors will open to you but are you the exclamation pointiest? 5 !!!!! – WHA WHAT??? Awesome!!!!! The Cars “Move Like This” 1 !. Party like it’s 1986…whatever. The Cars return with their first record since 1987! Wait let me rephrase that: The Cars return with their worst record since 1987! Okay that’s better. Hey! Don’t look at me like that! What??? Are you a Cars fan??? Actually I’ve always liked some of their songs but I wouldn’t consider myself a fan. They have always had too many clunkers (HA!) on each album. And “Move Like This” definitely has it’s share of clunkers! They still sound like The Cars but wh...

So yeah...I haven't written in a while.  How are you doing?  Sorry about that "not writing" thing but I've actually been enjoying listening to music while not really worrying about what I think about it or what I should say about it.  Sure there's been some good stuff (Smithereens "2011") and some not-so-good stuff (way too much to mention) but for some reason I haven't been able to get past the blank page to record my witty and relevant observations on these recordings.  Oh and also my band Certain Stars has been taking up a lot of my time lately.  We have a handful of shows coming up this month plus we just released our new single "The Great Destroyer" and b-side "Too Drunk To Dream" for download online.  The same songs will show on a 7" record by our Record Store Day show on Saturday, April 16th at Record Breakers in Chicago.  You can find the songs on iTunes, Amazon, and many other music related websites right now. S...

Record reviews (you know the drill): 1 Sunday brunch Mimosa – Not good enough. 2 Sunday brunch Mimosas – Okay, but try again next weekend. 3 Sunday brunch Mimosas – Better than two but why stop there? 4 Sunday brunch Mimosas – Party time! All doors will open to you but are you the drunkest? 5 Sunday brunch Mimosas – Breakfast and lunch and drinking all in one??? Awesome!!! Buffalo Tom “Skins” 4 Sunday brunch Mimosas. Party like it’s 1990 whatever. What year is this? 1994? It’s actually really nice to see Buffalo Tom back again. They were never a powerhouse band even at their high point but they always featured fairly strong songwriting skills. This record starts out very promising with “Arise, Watch”, a catchy pop song that made me smile when I first heard it. “Don’t Forget Me” is a slower country-ish ballad that features vocals from Tanya Donnelly. “Guilty Girls” rocks like it’s right off of their excellent album “Big Red Letter Day”. Buffalo Tom is back and I am very than...

Records were streamed once from Spinner.com and then rated on this ridiculous and arbitrary scale. 1 Charlie Sheen – Not good. 2 Charlie Sheens – Okay, but try again next weekend. 3 Charlie Sheens – Better than two but can you prove you aren’t just Emilio Estevez’s brother? 4 Charlie Sheens – Party time! All doors will open to you but are you the greatest? 5 Charlie Sheens – YES! The Greatest! Put them all in your Martian Rockstar brain and punch the World in the face! Ron Sexsmith “Long Player Late Bloomer” 2.5 Charlie Sheens. Grandpa just said you are his favorite! If James Taylor and Morrissey had a baby that baby would be Ron Sexsmith. This record gives new life to the smooth music movement. So what in the world is Bob Rock (Metallica, Motley Crue) doing producing this record? There is a lot of piano, acoustic guitar, and quiet vocals. Some songs are okay. Nothing really great though. Nice Sunday afternoon music. Highlight: “Believe It When I See It”. Chamberlin “Bit...

All records were spinned one damn time over dem der internet listenin’ doohickeys. Reviews and ratings were just my damned opinion so get over yerself and go get me another beer! 1 Cold beer on a warm patio – Ok you drank it…but so did Trent Dilfer. 2 Cold beers on a warm patio – Good stuff, but try again next weekend. 3 Cold beers on a warm patio – Better than two but can you prove you aren’t just lucky? 4 Cold beers on a warm patio – Party time! All doors will open to you but are you the greatest? 5 Cold beers on a warm patio – YES! The Greatest! Put them all in your belly and punch the World in the face! Drive-By Truckers “Go Go Boots” 5 Cold beers on a warm patio. Grandpa just said you are his favorite! DBT’s newest release starts out with the song “I Do Believe”. It is an upbeat pop-ish song that seems to declare, “This new record is something different from the Truckers.” But the next couple of songs tell a different story. DBT likes soul music. DBT likes to take it’s...

Records will be reviewed using the following nearly ridiculous grading scale: 1 Super Bowl Ring – Ok you did it…but so did Trent Dilfer. 2 Super Bowl Rings – Good stuff, but try again next year. 3 Super Bowl Rings – Better than most but can you prove you aren’t just lucky? 4 Super Bowl Rings – Party time! All doors will open to you but are you the greatest? 5 Super Bowl Rings – YES! The Greatest! Put them all on one hand and punch the World in the face! And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead “Tao of the Dead” 2.5 Super Bowl Rings. Grandiose and boring. I’ve listened to bands years ago that have a similar style to this band. For Love Not Lisa, Quicksand, and Failure all come to mind. (Failure especially.) The difference between those bands and Trail of Dead is that they had the hooks and sometimes even had songs. (If you read my stuff you know what I mean by that. If you don’t well I’ll try to explain in a later blog what I really mean by that statement.) Now I’m not sa...

4 Records + 1 listen all the way through+ 1 initial reaction= #1 cool music blog in the whole world! 1 vacation day on a sunny island – Not really worth the effort. 2 vacation days on a sunny island – Ok, but what else you got? 3 vacation days on a sunny island – This is more like it. But you know I still want more. 4 vacation days on a sunny island – Party time! 5 vacation days on a sunny island – YES! Instant classic! Bobby Long “A Winter Tale” 3 vacation days on a sunny island. A good listen but it won’t be your favorite. This guy is classic rock without the waiting to become a classic. His voice sounds like a combination of Cat Stevens and the lead singer of 3 Doors Down. Considering I really don't like either of those two singers I’m a little surprised that I like this record. There is plenty of acoustic guitar and not many clichés at all. Just some good Americana style rock which is another surprise since Bobby is British. Highlights: “In the Frost” and “T...

If you are not familiar with my reviews I listen to each record usually only one time. I stream them over the fabulous Al Gore invention called the Internet. I try to pay close attention to the music but it if it doesn’t hold my attention it becomes background music and I get grumpy. I also give the band a low rating if that happens because I’m angry with them for failing to give me the proper mental escape from my tedious work. 1 original margarita on the rocks – Meh 2 original margaritas on the rocks – Ok 3 original margaritas on the rocks – Got me buzzing. 4 original margaritas on the rocks – Party time! 5 original margaritas on the rocks – So good you probably shouldn’t drive home! The Decemberists “The King Is Dead” 4 original margaritas on the rocks. Familiar but tasty! What do you get when you mix a little classic Neil Young, with Peter Buck’s guitar, and some Gillian Welch vocals? No it’s not a new project from Robert Plant! It’s the new Decemberist’s record!...

All records are streamed over my work computer while I’m working away at office-related stuff. Reviews are either a first or possibly 2nd impression with not much thought put into grammar and all that stuff. 0 cool stuff. Really? They spent time in the studio for this??? 1 cool stuff. Not good enough. 1 is the loneliest stuff. 2 cool stuff. Better but I’m not sure this release is worth much more than one passing listen and stuff. 3 cool stuff. Now there is some cool stuff in here. Possibly worth a download. Not sure about a legal one though. 4 cool stuff. That’s alotta good stuff! You want this record and stuff. 5 cool stuff. This is not just a record. It is the soundtrack to a long and happy life and stuff!! Mew “Eggs Are Funny” 3 cool stuff. The way this one is built it just might spill good stuff on you. I have never heard this band before. They are described as a Danish alternative music band. I just can’t get over the fact that the lead singer sounds a lot like t...