Charlie Sheen does not approve of these record reviews!

Records were streamed once from Spinner.com and then rated on this ridiculous and arbitrary scale.


1 Charlie Sheen – Not good.
2 Charlie Sheens – Okay, but try again next weekend.
3 Charlie Sheens – Better than two but can you prove you aren’t just Emilio Estevez’s brother?
4 Charlie Sheens – Party time! All doors will open to you but are you the greatest?
5 Charlie Sheens – YES! The Greatest! Put them all in your Martian Rockstar brain and punch the World in the face!


Ron Sexsmith “Long Player Late Bloomer” 2.5 Charlie Sheens. Grandpa just said you are his favorite!


If James Taylor and Morrissey had a baby that baby would be Ron Sexsmith. This record gives new life to the smooth music movement. So what in the world is Bob Rock (Metallica, Motley Crue) doing producing this record? There is a lot of piano, acoustic guitar, and quiet vocals. Some songs are okay. Nothing really great though. Nice Sunday afternoon music. Highlight: “Believe It When I See It”.

Chamberlin “Bitter Blood” 2 Charlie Sheens. Great performances. No hooks.


Holy Avett Brothers Batman! Is Chamberlin trying to sound exactly like the Avett Brothers? If so, mission accomplished. If not they better start listening to some other bands and quickly! Oh and maybe put down the My Morning Jacket cds for a while too. Even though they sound like two great bands they really don’t have the songwriting powers that those bands possess. This might be worth another listen but I don’t think I will unless it falls into my lap down the road.

Eisley “The Valley” 1 Charlie Sheen. Not terrible but not that good either.


This is the third full length by the Texas indie-pop sibling band the Eisley. I don’t know if I picked the wrong afternoon to check it out but zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…Highlights: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Rural Alberta Advantage “Departing” 2 Charlie Sheens. Shhhhh…Don’t tell.


This one is going to upset my friend Martha so don’t tell her I wrote this. (She likes this band and wants me to go see them with her.) I like the music. I like the lyrics. I hate the singer’s voice! It grates on me. In fact I’m giving points for the music and the lyrics. Otherwise I would rate this a zero and write this band off forever. Highlight: Going to the next record before this one is done.

Rival Schools “Pedals” 3 Charlie Sheens.  This won't blow your ears off.  But it will please them for a little while.


The post-hardcore pioneers return with their first album in a decade. I never heard this band before but I have heard this music before. It’s nothing new or revolutionary. If you liked the band Quicksand you will like this record. Highlight: “Racing To Red Lights”.

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